You know when you receive a rude email your initial response is to respond in kind? No? Just me? About a year ago I was looking for a new job. I was new to the area and had been freelancing so, a new full time job. After interviewing at many companies, it came down to two different companies where I had interviewed three times at each place. I was very fortunate.
The more fortunate part was they both made an offer on the exact same day, within hours of each other. I turned down a very good job offer, in favor of one that was even better in many ways. Instead of graciously saying “okay Katie, thanks for letting us know you’re declining, may I ask why?”, as professionals typically do, this person said I “wasted his time”. Excuse me? You were clearly interviewing other people, as you should, so why should I put all my eggs in one basket?
No one enjoys the interview process, but no need to make it ugly. I wrote a reply in my head, and then deleted it. I badly want to respond saying that he is correct. I did clearly make the right decision, but I think it best if I just leave it unsaid. If anything it made me realize this is not the type of person I want to be working for. I have a whole file of email responses in my head. I just have to remember not to actually write them out for fear of accidentally hitting send.
I had a little incident of ‘don’t respond!’ at work today and it brought this back to mind. And all that made me remember how much I hate interviewing. I think it’s a little like first dates. I didn’t love those either.
Do you like the new header image? Taken at the beach a few weekends ago, my friend, Crabby McCrab.
I was out at dinner the other night with some friends and as an app we had pork cheeks. It had some fancy name, but basically, that’s what they were, pig cheeks. How were they you ask? They were succulent. And I don’t use that word lightly. Moist, yet crispy bits of pork; and it was served with….. cubes of seedless watermelon. Weird right? Yes. No, it balanced out the richness of the cheeks.
To the side of our table, a little behind me, was a man and woman in their early twenties. I think they were on a second or third date. They knew each other, but they were playing the “tell me about yourself” game. She didn’t touch her wine until dinner, and I think he did most of the talking. But it was hard to tell. I was trying really hard not to look like I was eavesdropping, but I totally was.
Do you remember those dates? It’s been 10 years since I’ve been on a date (not because I’m anti-social but because my husband wouldn’t like it) but I remember those first dates being sort of a mixed bag. There was the excitement of going out with someone I thought I was hot, or interesting, or both; there was the nervousness of hoping I would be able to uphold my part of the conversation and there was the finger crossing while I hoped that the guy wouldn’t turn out to be a total sleaze/ bore/ self-absorbed turkey.
There was a time where I gave up on dating. At the opposite end of the spectrum I went through a brief period where I was thrilled when the guy was fully employed and not living with his parents. Yeah, that’s a little sad isn’t it? But hey, a girl’s gotta have standards and I admit, there was a time when the bar wasn’t that high. And then I met the man that was going to be my husband and it hit me like a ton of bricks that he was THE ONE. I know, I don’t think it normally happens like that. I really lucked out, but so did he.
So single readers, what’s the first date scene like now? Anything change in 10 years? Details please.