Doctor with worst bedside manner ever.

I am so frustrated.  Actually, I’m just annoyed now, I was angry first, then frustrated, now just annoyed.  I have to go back to the Bay Area, 2 1/2 hours from where we live now to have our baby.  I talked about the insurance issue a little in my last post, but I didn’t really vent enough about the doctor and I feel like I need to.  The ridiculously egotistical OB with the worst bedside manner ever.

I found this new OB in our new town via our insurance; there are not a lot of options here.  My husband and I went in together for my 32 week appointment and after 10 minutes of small talk, he asks, when we want to plan the c-section.  I tell him that actually, we wanted to talk about that.  Is that necessary or can I have a VBAC (first baby was an unplanned c-section).  Dr. OB says there is a 1 in 100 chance that something could go wrong with a VBAC and then goes on to explain that the local hospital does not have the necessary people on staff at all times to manage it if something were to go wrong, so in the case where the first birth is a c-section, the rest have to be too.  He THEN goes ON about the worst case scenarios. He already has me convinced and if he took a moment to look at my face he would have seen that my emotions were right there and that I was near tears.  We said we got it and it was fine but he insisted that he finish and went on to actually say that if we do have a VBAC and we are the 1 in 100 worst case scenario there could be a dead baby or dead mommy.  He actually said those words, repeatedly.  At this point, I’m openly crying and Husband says, dude, that’s enough, we get it.  Dr OB looks up finally and says, I didn’t mean to upset you, I just wanted to make sure you got the picture.  I replied that he scared the shit out of me 5 minutes ago after the first “dead baby” mention and didn’t need to go on and if he had looked at me for just a second he would have realized the impact.  We talked, he apologized profusely.

Believe it or not I actually planned to go ahead with him being my doctor for this pregnancy anyway.  I would only see him a few more times and then in the hospital the nurses do most everything anyway; plus I’m so far along it will be a pain to find another doctor in this hick town.  I also rationalized that because he was so egotistical he is probably a great surgeon.  Thank goodness fate intervened.

The hospital does not take our insurance.  The OB did, the hospital does not.  I didn’t know that was possible.

So, I’m going back to the East Bay to my old OB tomorrow who accepts our insurance, as does the rock star hospital she delivers at.

Turns out this is not a bad thing at all.  I’ll be closer to my parents who will love to pamper me, actually, pamper their toddler grandson and newborn grandchild.  I actually love this OB.  So, thank goodness that hospital didn’t take our insurance after all.

I don’t know when my new c-section date will be, I think that’s the way I’m leaning, but it will most likely be the first week of August.

There will be two under two in the house.  Words of wisdom?


2 responses to “Doctor with worst bedside manner ever.

  1. What a pain! And to have to go through all of that in your last trimester.

    I don’t have any real words of wisdom. The first year with the boys is a blur. It is infinitely harder to bring home a newborn when you have a toddler. Just take it one day at a time, do the best that you can, sleep whenever possible. You’ll do fine.

  2. The “dead baby” card is something OBs like to pull out when they begin to suspect their patients might actually want some autonomy in their birth experience. The reality is maternal mortality and morbidity is *lower* for VBACs than repeat cesareans. You can research it endlessly if you choose to. Doctors can get away with giving heaps of fear-based misinformation to birthing women because of the power dynamic at play, and because pregnant and birthing women are in such a vulnerable place –as they should be. Blessings to you mama. Should you have reservations about choosing a cesarean there is a world of support and resources out there for you.

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