Monthly Archives: March 2009

How I Know My Baby Has Made Me Crazy

  • Woke up in the middle of the night looking for the baby in the bed.  The baby was never in the bed.
  • Walked to the baby room to put the baby down and then realized I was not actually holding the baby.
  • Husband woke up in the middle of the night looking for the baby bottle in the bed.  The bottle was never in the bed. (Crazy by association.)
  • The baby has had more baths this week than I have. (Maybe that just makes me dirty, not crazy.)
  • I cried watching the end of Monster in Law
  • I think 5 hours of sleep is a ‘good night’.

Thanks to abdpbt!


Goin’ Back to Cali, Part II

So, I spent 2  1/2 weeks in California with my parents and the bundle, and we had a fantastic time.  It was an awesome visit; not just because the bundle got to spend time with his grandparents, and vice versa, that was awesome; but because of all the other stuff.  Maybe not because of, really it was in addition to.  Here’s a little glimpsey- poo into the other stuff.

My parents still have my old furniture in one of the rooms, including the one and only mattress I had since I was 8 years old.  That’s right people, same mattress from 8 years old, until I left for college at 17.  Writing that out doesn’t seem like it’s THAT long, but now I’m in my mid 30’s; still same mattress.  But I tell you what, it was so comfortable.  I know its’ squeaks, its’ soft spots; I like how the corner closest to the door dips a little from me bouncing on it when I was a kid.  I was afraid of the monster under my bed and at night I would jump from the hallway onto my bed, barely landing on the corner so the monster couldn’t reach out and snatch me.

In the wee hours, about 5am, I would feed the bundle and then hand him to grandma, who is a morning person (I am not) and have a few more hours of glorious sleep.  I’d come downstairs feeling good and there would be either grandma, with the bundle asleep on her chest, or grandpa with him snugged in the crook of his arm.  It was like a feel good movie.  I’d have coffee, feed the baby and then hand him back.  I think I changed one diaper while I was there and maybe burped him once, and it was so good.  I need a better word.  It was amazing, wonderful, fantastic, supercalifragilisticexpialidocious.  I love the bundle more than anything, but having someone who loves him so much, to share the day-to-day stuff with, was really special.

My mom is a saver.  While I was there I saw my old boom box laying on the floor with some other stuff.  It was my Wordless Wednesday a few weeks ago.  Do the kids still call it a boom box?  Probably not.  Definitely not a ghetto blaster.  This thing was kinda small, so not much ghetto blasting.  Anyway, fond memories were recalled of recording New Addition, Madonna and yes, Color Me Badd off the radio.  Don’t hate me.  And Journey, how great is Journey?!?

Start of Tangent:

Do you remember the first cassette tape you bought?  I was a little late to the game and bought Born In The USA.  And then it was Madonna, the one with the black and white cover that had Borderline and Lucky Star on it.  God that’s an awesome album.  I remember in Junior High when a girlfriend and I made up a dance to Lucky Star in our basement.  We were so cool.

End Tangent.

Anyway, after many long walks with the grandparents and the bundle and many lazy afternoons on the deck in the sunshine, we finally had to make our way back to Atlanta.  That’s a post in itself.  It was a vacation and I’m rested.  All ready for changing diapers.

But wait!  My MIL is coming for 3 weeks from out of country!  

I love it, I don’t know why.


My mom was going to throw this out!

My mom was going to throw this out!

Places I’ve changed the diaper

The bundle is 3 months old now and it took me until he was 2 months to venture any further than the mall.  Namely, at 11 weeks we went cross country to stay with the parents for 2 1/2 weeks.  We ventured.  We changed diapers.  Below is my small list of places I’ve changed the bundle, not very impressive.  I’m sure there are many of you with tales to tell.  So spill it.  And yes, I’m scraping the bottom of the LIST barrel.

  • on a boat!
  • Burger King booth (not the table)
  • airplane bathroom (not awesome)
  • trunk of the car (2x)
  • several public bathrooms
  • at home on changing table (duh)

Check out ABDPBT’s Listlessness Mondays!  Thanks Anna for the weekly inspiration!

The Tale of Coast-to-Coast Travel With the Baby Bundle, Part Uno


I flew to California at the beginning of the month to visit my parents, with the then 11 week old bundle.  Sunday started at 4:30am ET when the bundle woke up in Atlanta, and ended on Sunday at 8:30pm PT when we went to bed at my parents’ house in California.  We’re supposed to fly direct, so no problem right?  I was flying alone, sans Husband, by myself, alone, with the bundle, but no problem, right?  I can handle it.  I am woman, hear me roar.  ahem.  I blame all of my problems on the weather.  

I had booked a direct flight for 9:30am on an airline that I will not name, but it rhymes with Smelta Airlines. Traveling ‘infant in arms’.  I checked it the night before, online.  No problem.  I checked it at 6am to print the boarding pass and I had been moved to an 8:30 am flight, with a layover in Salt Lake City.  Crap.  No email or phone call to me.  Just moved.  I had booked it using miles so I figured I had 2 choices.

  1. Haul butt to the airport and try to make the flight, even though a 3 hour layover would suck more than a Hoover
  2. Forgo my points and book a new flight for another time

So, I went with option 1.  Woke Husband and hauled all our butts to airport.  So that is the SUCKS part.  Thanks Smelta.

On the leg from Atlanta to SLC I was bumped to first class, which ROCKS, where I had a very speedy, helpful security line.  Thanks Smelta!

Highlights from this flight, because I love bullets:

  • I could not fenagle stroller dismemberment by myself at the jetway, nice man helped me out
  • sat next to 50ish business man in suit and tie who offered to hold bundle while I had breakfast (I declined, he was wearing a TIE)
  • bundle woke up, so no breakfast for me (I planned to eat at home but didn’t get to because of the previously mentioned hauling)
  • walked up and down plane
  • returned to seat after everyone ate and super nice stewardess offered to hold bambino while I ate (I declined, way above her job description, and he might spit up)
  • changed very poopy diaper in teeny tiny airplane bathroom
  • very nice stewardess again offered, insisted actually, and I took her up on it while I snarfed an omlette and fruit off of china, with real flatware!
  • nursed bambino on takeoff, landing, and twice in-between

On the 3 hour layover I changed 2 diapers, 1 baby outfit and nursed the bundle twice, to keep him happy.  I was in the world’s smallest terminal.  I don’t think it could have even been called a terminal.  Maybe a termini.  It was lunchtime, I was starving, and my options were a Starbucks or a Quiznos.  It was hot in the termini, I had a fussy bundle and I had lost my crucial hair clip.  So what was my lunch of choice?  

A frappuccino.  With whipped cream.

Yes, I spent 1,000,000 calories on my lunch, and it was worth it.  So what if my ass would no longer fit in my assigned seat?

The flight to California was not more eventful, but definitely more draining.  I was able to take down the stroller by myself thank you.  It was a puddle jumper and we actually had to walk out on the tarmac and up the stairs to this tiny plane.  I’m standing on the stairs and I see 6-7 men in front of me and a few are looking at me, looking at me and eyeing the happy bundle in my arms.  They are worried.  I can see it in their eyes.  I make light of it, “who’s the lucky person who gets to sit next to me?”  They all laugh, nervously. 

The flight is about to take off so I take out a bottle of formula.  I know.  But the seats are so close together and the plane was so small I was uncomfortable whipping out a boob.

And then, the crying started.  The bundle cried the entire 1:45 minute flight.  I got up and stood in the coffee nook for most of the flight, trying to calm the bundle down.  It didn’t work.  I’d go back to my seat periodically when I thought he was calm, but no.  However, I have to say that the guy sitting next to me at the window was awesome, as was the guy across the aisle from me.  Both made valiant efforts to cheer the baby up, goo- goo noises all over the place, and they were rewarded with smiles.  But the minute they stopped, holy hell.  

We finally made it to the airport, met my parents where I gladly gave the stroller to grandma and collapsed in the car.  Oh wait, why am I blaming this on the weather?  That was the Sunday that Atlanta saw a snowstorm that dumped 3 inches in just a few hours and the airport cancelled most of the morning flights.  So, I was luckily on one of the last flights out of there before the storm hit.  

Part II of this story will recount the awesomeness of the visit itself.  Including trips down memory lane such as this beauty.

Recorded Walk Like an Egyptian From the Radio


Random Tuesday Thoughts

Shout out to the Un-Mom!


There is a great newish show out there that evidently no one is watching; probably because it’s on AMC.  Or maybe I’m wrong and everyone is watching it but me.  It’s “Breaking Bad”.  It has the dad from “Malcom in the Middle”, Bryan Cranston, and another guy I haven’t seen before, Aaron Paul.  Bottom line is that Cranston’s character is a high school chemistry teacher that is dying of lung cancer and has 18 months to live.  His son has cerebral palsy and his wife is pregnant.  He wants his family to be financially set before he dies.  He stumbles on Paul, a former student, who evidently makes a lot of money from making and selling crystal meth.  I think this is what the critics call ‘gritty’.  It’s not a comedy, it’s not dark, but it’s serious and you can feel how desperate Cranston’s character is and how crazy Paul’s character could be.  It’s awesome, I highly recommend watching it from the beginning.

I needed the book for our next book club meeting (The Alchemist) and I didn’t want to buy it so I went to the library.  The only copy they had was large print, so I got it.  It made an easy read even easier.  Love it.
I miss cooking and baking.
Love these stainless steel brushed cuffs.  When I’m employed again I’m going to buy this.  
Four Weddings and a Funeral gets better and better each time I watch it.  Or, it sucks less.  I don’t know why I keep watching it.
I can’t wait for Rescue Me to come back on the air in April.  Have you seen the ads for it?  The actors are giants tramping through NYC and at the end one of the guys falls in Central Park, on Central Park really.  They don’t take themselves too seriously.
When I went back to my girlie doctor a few weeks ago she told me I could have sex again, now that I’m all healed up from the C-section.  Great.  She followed that with the nugget that if I’m breast feeding it will be hard for me to get pregnant during that time.  What?  Did I say something about wanting to go through this again?  Now?  Sure, hopefully we’re blessed with another bundle a year or two down the road, but sheesh!  Give a girl a break!  I’d like to have my breasts be my own for a while before we do this again.  I’d like my BODY to be my own for a while.  Am I naive here?  
My husband is so into American Idol this year and I can’t stand it.  Boooorrrriing.
I flew, with the 11 week old bundle, from Atlanta to San Francisco on Sunday. OMG.  There was an unexpected layover.  More on that later.