So, on Wednesday it is raining and my car is in the shop getting the AC fixed. Dog, baby and I are getting a little stir crazy so as soon as the rain stops, I load up the bundle in the stroller and get ready to head out. Dog barks to go out, fine. I take her out, she does nothing but since she woke up in the middle of the night to go out and had some doggie diarrhea (awesome) I give her some time to just walk around and do her thing. Nothing happens.
Bundle and I go for a little leisurely stroll around the back. He is getting big by the way and I’m going to need to take the insert out of the stroller soon that we put in when he was a newborn. 13 pounds of gooey love! But I digress.
We get back, I open the door and it smells… a little poopy. I think great, the dog is having wicked farts, awesome again. I bring the kid inside, put the carrier on the table and walk in and almost cry. The *dog* (I’m saying that as if it’s the f-bomb) has dropped little poops, at least 20, all around the dining room table on the wood floor. Then I see a trail. More poop that leads into the living room, around the coffee table, and there, voila, a still warm pile. Too graphic? Too bad. I almost gagged.
So what happens next? Baby starts crying, he’s hot. I forgot to take off the blankets and his sweater. I go around the house to get back to the kitchen where the bundle is and take it all off and put him in the bouncy chair. I go pick up the poop and disinfect as I go. I am the picture of efficiency. A roll of paper towels in one hand, a container of bleach wipes in the other and a massive garbage bag in the other.
Baby starts screaming, he’s over tired. I meant to put him down for a nap as soon as we got home and now it’s 30 minutes later. I wash up and go get him. I burp him. He spits up so much on me I have to not only change my t-shirt, but my bra too. I change him and put him in the swaddle thing and put him down to nap. Finally, I go in my spit up drenched shirt and wash the whole floor. The windows and doors are open.
All I can think of is a glass of wine and bath.