Monthly Archives: February 2009

breast-feeding and talking on a phone while driving

I’m sorry, but what the hell?  From the AP an hour ago.  

KETTERING, Ohio – Police in Ohio say a woman has been charged with child endangerment after another motorist reported she was both breast-feeding the youngster and talking on a phone while driving.

Wordless Wednesday

12-25-2008-13-50-55-pm

poop, spit up and a walk- or what I like to call, Wednesday

So, on Wednesday it is raining and my car is in the shop getting the AC fixed.  Dog, baby and I are getting a little stir crazy so as soon as the rain stops, I load up the bundle in the stroller and get ready to head out.  Dog barks to go out, fine.  I take her out, she does nothing but since she woke up in the middle of the night to go out and had some doggie diarrhea (awesome) I give her some time to just walk around and do her thing.  Nothing happens.

Bundle and I go for a little leisurely stroll around the back.  He is getting big by the way and I’m going to need to take the insert out of the stroller soon that we put in when he was a newborn.  13 pounds of gooey love!  But I digress.

We get back, I open the door and it smells… a little poopy.  I think great, the dog is having wicked farts, awesome again.  I bring the kid inside, put the carrier on the table and walk in and almost cry.  The *dog* (I’m saying that as if it’s the f-bomb) has dropped little poops, at least 20, all around the dining room table on the wood floor.  Then I see a trail.  More poop that leads into the living room, around the coffee table, and there, voila, a still warm pile.  Too graphic?  Too bad.  I almost gagged.  

So what happens next?  Baby starts crying, he’s hot.  I forgot to take off the blankets and his sweater.  I go around the house to get back to the kitchen where the bundle is and take it all off and put him in the bouncy chair.  I go pick up the poop and disinfect as I go.  I am the picture of efficiency.  A roll of paper towels in one hand, a container of bleach wipes in the other and a massive garbage bag in the other.  

Baby starts screaming, he’s over tired.  I meant to put him down for a nap as soon as we got home and now it’s 30 minutes later.  I wash up and go get him.  I burp him.  He spits up so much on me I have to not only change my t-shirt, but my bra too.  I change him and put him in the swaddle thing and put him down to nap.  Finally, I go in my spit up drenched shirt and wash the whole floor.  The windows and doors are open.

All I can think of is a glass of wine and bath.

Anonymous Blogging or How to Avoid a Stalker

Some bloggers blog anonymously.  Others give out a lot of personal info.  But the majority seem to be somewhere in the middle.  Maybe a first name and a city.  Maybe a first and last name but also the names of spouses and kids.  I’m not that trusting.  When I started this blog a few months ago I thought long and hard about how much to share and decided that I wasn’t comfortable with any information about me on this blog.  Our home phone number and address is unlisted and I don’t sign up for things that will likely get me on a list.  The email I used to set up this blog is not my name.  I am paranoid.  Why?  10 years ago, over the course of a year, I received several anonymous threatening phone calls at home and at work, to a point where the police became involved and my work phone was tapped to try to find the a-hole.  Yes, the police in both the city where I worked and lived have a record of it so if he shows up again, there’s a history.

The point is, even 10 years later I think of it.  I don’t answer my cell if I don’t recognize the number or if it comes in as a private caller.  I know, I should be over it.  But he threatened me and my body.  I like my body, and I like the bodies of the  people around me even more, so if I thought that the a-hole could find me and hurt anyone close to me I’d just die.  So, that’s why I’m not brave enough to use my name in this blog.  Even though I’m sure both my readers are totally normal it’s the other people I’m worried about.  What if this blog gets so hugely popular that I give Dooce a run for her money?  ha ha.

On the other hand, I hate the feeling that even after so much time has passed it still gets to me.  Certainly the a-hole has moved on so I should too.

So, are you ever worried about some crazy person out there hunting you down and egging your house because they didn’t like something you had to say?

Listlessness Mondays- “Who it is!”

I’m watching too much tv.  I need to start looking for a new job soon but I don’t want to.  The highlight of my day right now is snuggling with the 9 week old bundle on the couch.  Followed closely by a large over-priced latte when we go for a walk.  But back to the tv, I’ve been watching a solid hour of the Cosby Show from 4-5, right before Ellen, almost every day.  That combined with a little of the Today Show is really about it, but it’s more than I used to watch.  That would be because I used to have a full time (paying) job during the day.  Anyway, the Huxtables rock.  Right now it’s the early days, when Rudy was still cute.  The last two episodes actually had a young and dorky(er) Adam Sandler.   There are some great lines in this show and since you might not be available to watch the classics, I thought I’d take a few minutes to share the highlights with you.   Consider it a public service.  Shout out to ABDPBT for Listlessness Mondays!

  • “I brought you into this world, and I can take you out.”  – Cliff
  • “When you come to our room, knock on the door.  When we ask who’s there, you say who it is.” – parents –                 Knock-Knock- “Who is it?”- parents, “Who it is!” – girls
  • “Regular people? You want to be regular people?… the government comes for the regular people first.” – Cliff
  • “No boy should be wearing an $85 shirt unless he’s on stage with his four brothers.” – Cliff
  • “You’re afraid to try because you’re afraid your brain is going to explode and it’s going to ooze out of your ears.” – Cliff 

Hmm, seems Cliff has all the best lines.  Speaking of Bill Cosby, I saw him on Meet the Press the other day and he is looking old.  I guess not old, just his age.  He must be in his late 60’s right?  It made me think that if the show was still running, Rudy and Olivia could actually have kids now, Winnie and Nelson definitely would, and he would be a great-grandfather. 

What happened to the writers of the Cosby Show?

Jumping the Shark

I’m afraid that Facebook may have done the social networking equivalent of jumping the shark.  What does this mean?  I defer to wikipedia for a good description:

Jumping the shark is a colloquialism used by TV critics and fans to denote that point in a TV show or movie series’ history where the plot veers off into absurd story lines or out-of-the-ordinary characterizations, particularly for a show with falling ratings apparently becoming more desperate to draw viewers in. In the process of undergoing these changes, the TV or movie series loses its original appeal. Shows that have “jumped the shark” are typically deemed to have passed their peak.

jumptheshark2

Now, I love me some social networking, but once the plastic ladies of the fourth hour of the Today Show got their own page, which they don’t maintain, it seemed to reach a new level.  They even have an assistant they refer to once in a while whose sole purpose, is to update their page and to report to them the status of how many friends they have.  Trying too hard perhaps?

Listlessness Mondays- Super Powers

Everyone has talked about what super powers they would want, if super powers were being handed out.  Mine would be the ability to fly.  I know, whoop de doo, but I’d pick that over anything else, followed closely by being able to read the minds of all living creatures, including my dog.  Since I don’t think Obama’s To Do List includes handing out any super powers I’m writing it off.  However, there are what I call Super Skills that I wouldn’t mind.  Below, is my Listlessness Monday list of Super Skills, in order of importance, that I hope to acquire either by practice or maybe by being struck by lightning.  What are yours?

  1. the ability to fall asleep as soon as my head hits the pillow
  2. the ability to sleep anywhere
  3. the ability to tell for 100% certainty if someone is lying
  4. the ability to win any argument (maybe stretching it a bit)
  5. the ability to gamble and do better than break even

In the same vein, read the hilarious post by Michelle at 5minutesforspecialneeds about her own superhero.

The Oscar Pool is here!

I have not seen one Oscar nominated movie this year and it’s a first for me.  Last year we did a double feature to get in the last two of the most nominated movies we hadn’t seen, No Country For Old Men and There Will Be Blood.  However, I’m sure you have all done your part to help the economy and purchased full price movie tickets to many of the fine films up for awards.

Oh, my bad.  I just checked the list and I’ve seen seven, but none of the ones nominated for best picture.  

Tropic Thunder, which is hilarious if you can tuck any PC thoughts away for 2 1/2 hours.  The Dark Knight, I didn’t realize it had been nominated, but Heath is for Supporting Actor and Robert DJ was nominated for Tropic Thunder in the same category.  Both movies were entertaining and Husband and I liked them a lot.  Sure, they are big Hollywood blockbusters, millions of dollars spent, but sometimes that’s all you want right?  Entertainment.  Wall-E was nominated for animated film (duh) and I thought it sucked.  But then again I don’t think I was the target audience for that one.  Finally, we saw Iron Man (several technical categories), Australia (Costumes) which was very good, Wanted, which is exactly what you’d think it would be and In Bruges (original screenplay), which was very entertaining and original and I’d highly recommend it if use of the f-bomb in every sentence doesn’t offend you.

Sure, Slumdog Millionaire looks good, but I really want to see Milk and Frost/ Nixon because I like movies based on recent events, well relatively recent.  I also can’t wait for The Curious Case of Benjamin Button to come out because, helloooo, Brad Pitt is a hottie wether he’s 40 or digitized to be 100.  There’s no way I’m getting to a movie theater anytime soon so I’ll be waiting for DVD or Comcast.  Vicky Cristina Barcelona looks great too, and I love Penelope Cruz and that guy.  I forget the name of that guy in the movie.

So, if you’re killing time, fill out the Oscar Pool.  No, there is no prize or fee to enter, so not really a pool, but show the world (or my 2 readers) that you know your Hollywood.   

Shout out to Defective Yeti!

Let’s talk about what matters- the ads

So, I watched the game up through halftime on Sunday. There was no way I could stay up past 8:30 since me and the bundle have a cold.  Whose bright idea was it to schedule the game at 6pmET?  So the Californians can watch it in the afternoon?  So the Hawaiians could watch it at noon, a reasonable time?  I was rooting for the underdogs so of course I’m a little sad for Arizona, but really, usually the ads are my favorite part, how about you?  I watched the ones I missed on Hulu.com.  Did you have a favorite?

Lets see.  There were the Clydesdales, cars (snooze), tires, Conan, job boards, the monkeys, the Doritos… I did like the Doritos ad.  How awesome of those two guys to make it for $2k and then get it aired during the biggest TV event of the year?  I bet they land awesome creative jobs since they certainly pegged their audience.  What did you think of the eTrade ads with the talking babies?  People seem to love or hate them.  I’m in the latter camp.  I don’t know why, I just find them creepy.  I admit though, that at the end of the most recent one when the one baby starts singing again, it is a little cute.  But still, creepy.  I also loved the CareerBuilder.com ad. You might be ready to look for a new job if ….  I laughed out loud at that one.  Frankly that’s the barometer for me.  Ads in general need to move me in some way for me to pay attention and an actual out loud laugh is the highest ranking from me.

As long as we’re talking about ads, I just saw one yesterday that was awesome and I spent way too much time looking for it.  I thought it was for Trident but I guess not since I couldn’t find it.  If someone finds it, please send it my way.  There is a woman walking through an open air market carrying a bunch of things including some bags and a lamp.  As the camera pulls away you can see she is carrying quite a bit, and wearing 5 inch heels, and I think it was even a cobblestone street.  Who hasn’t been there!?!  She somehow opens her purse to get something ( I can’t remember what) and has one handle of it in her teeth when a guy on a scooter or a motorcycle comes by and tries to mug her by grabbing the purse out of her mouth.  Of course her toothy grip is so strong he can’t wrench it free and falls off the bike and lands flat on his back.  She owes her strong teeth to the gum she chews.  Of course.  Maybe it’s not genius and it’s not really funny, but it was unexpected.  I thought it would be an ad for shoes or travel or even a car since it seems 90% of ads now are for cars, but no.  Gum!  Surprise!

What about the Mac ads?  Genius or boring?  Justin Long has certainly come a long way since then.  He was on Ellen on Monday and he said Mac gives him a 15% discount in addition to some products.  I should think so!  He should be set up for a lifetime of products since he’s a walking advertisement for them.  Not many people know his name but I’m sure he gets “Hey Mac guy!” all the time.  Those ads for the past 3 years have been a big part of the reason Mac has a broader appeal now than ever before.  

What are some of your favorites?