Woke up bright and early, had the infant car seat checked by a very nice fireman to make sure it is in correctly. (I love the firemen.) It was. Had my hair cut and blown out. So, since I’m currently unemployed I’m home to watch Ellen now. I love her. I wish I had a reason to be on her show. But first, I had a wicked brownie craving. I also came across a bag of Halloween candy from last year, all Snickers minis. Can they still be good? Of course someone should check, I felt a little bad just throwing them out. The chocolate was a little discolored, you know how it does when it’s in the fridge or the heat and then back to room temp, but otherwise, a-ok. And again, instead of throwing it out, I thought, I’ll cut them up and add them to the brownies! So I did. Then I ate a whole row of them while watching Ellen.
Today her first segment is with Paris Hilton and it’s been hilarious. I’ve never blogged about a show before, and I might not again, but this has been a riot. Ellen goes to Paris’ house, gets the mini tour, oogles her closet, which I am so jealous of, looks at the dozens of pictures Paris has of herself all over her house, and then visits the ‘club’ in her house that consists of some mirrored walls and a stripper pole. Who has pictures of themselves in their home? When they live alone? Ellen gives the pole a whirl, tries on a mini jean skirt and then they head out to the real club, at 6:30pm. I’m sure the episode is on her website, it’s a fun 5 minutes. So Paris doesn’t exactly have any substance, and I don’t know why she is a celebrity, but Ellen rocks; she’s genuine and funny.
Then, at the end, Nick Jonas and Clint Eastwood make surprise appearances. Ok, I wouldn’t know Nick if I ran him over with my Honda, but Clint, he rocks for a guy over 60. Actually, he rocks for any actor. He seems like someone’s tough guy dad. I don’t know if he has a daughter, but if he did, imagine being the guy that comes over to take Clint’s daughter on a date. I imagine it would be like this:
- dude shows up at Clint’s house to take out daughter
- dude rings bell after getting through security
- daughter answers the door and says, “I’ll just get my jacket, come in and meet my dad.”
- dude steps in and stands awkwardly in the living room
- Clint walks into the living room and says, “hey kid.”
- dude swallows gum and says “hello Mr. Eastwood”
- Clint gives dude the squinty stare and says “so, you’re going to take out my daughter”
- dude: “yes sir”
- Clint: “where are you going?”
- dude: “I was thinking we’d go have dinner and maybe see a movie, or go out to a party.”
- Clint: “Are you feeling lucky?”
- dude: “Yes, I mean no. No, not lucky… am I?”
- Clint: gives dude squinty stare
- dude: stares at hands and silently wills girl to hurry up already
- Clint: gives dude squinty stare without really looking at him
- dude: “um, tell her I’ll meet her outside”
- Clint: “Sure, I’ll do that.”
- dude: leaves house
- Clint: goes and tells his daughter the guy left because he needed to go visit his crack dealer
- daughter: “dad, don’t you get tired of reliving Dirty Harry?”
I kind of hope that Husband can channel a little Dirty Harry when our child starts dating. That will keep the boys in line. Right? Nothing wrong with a little intimidation.